it's long understood, i've always gone for the jordan catalanos of this world. gorgeous, slightly damaged, misunderstood and/or completely unavailable. when all the while, right next door, was brian krakow. funny, caring, adorable and available. but i only realise this perfect guy was there all along as i'm driving away, looking back at him through the car window, in the final episode. no opportunity for a second season in my love life, either.
first there was mike bynum. he clouded my young thoughts and dreams like no other, from 7th grade through high school. meanwhile joe monacella was sitting right next to me in english class, willing to slow dance with me at the sweetheart dance. in high school, poor aaron got caught up under the wheels of the bynum steamroller. sam, too.
in college, i lusted after srini's roommate dwight van winkle. he walked around all the time without a shirt on, an early matthew mcconaughey. all i can say to that is, major fucking duh. the one who got away.
bob binney arrived on the scene, what with his amazing ability to mock my 70s obsession and make me laugh like no other. poor dan leary didn't stand a chance, but was nonetheless pretty perfect for me. 15 years later at the newspaper reunion? i couldn't even talk to bob. i hid from him the whole time. dan was probably at home that night with his wife and three beautiful children. i went home alone.
at 96rock, i was dazzled by adam. knowing i wasn't his type and that our kids would have less than no ass didn't stop me from ignoring andy martin and that cute boy who took me to cirque de soleil.
this phenomenon can even be found in the professional sports world. brantt mhyres could barely skate down the ice, but sure looked good buying frozen yogurt in his expensive suit, while kurt harvey toiled in the dressing room. well to be fair i lusted after kurt too. in this case the brian was an unavailable jordan too -- he was married to his job.
then there was kenny. charming, gorgeous, dangerous kenny. i couldn't even name the brian krakow in that situation, i didn't even notice who he might've been.
in texas, first there was dusty, and then craig. more jordans. so is there a brian in my current scenario? is it patrick todd? or someone else i can't even see?
this dysfunction can be traced back to my taste in music, too. my first musical love? paul mccartney. of course, george or john never would've married a one-legged golddigger half their age. next? sting -- conceited and unfaithful, when obviously stewart copeland was wry, witty, and just plain adorable.
it's like in the movie while you were sleeping. sandra bullock's character thinks she's in love with the handsome lawyer peter, but really it's earthy, dependable, less showy but ultimately far more attractive jack who is perfect for her.
don't get me wrong. the jordans in my life were very smart, funny, talented, and in most cases, interested in me as friends, at least. (damn you bynum!!) but they weren't romantic relationship material. and they clouded my vision. i'm ready for my brian. and i don't want him to get away while i'm distracted by yet another jordan.
first there was mike bynum. he clouded my young thoughts and dreams like no other, from 7th grade through high school. meanwhile joe monacella was sitting right next to me in english class, willing to slow dance with me at the sweetheart dance. in high school, poor aaron got caught up under the wheels of the bynum steamroller. sam, too.
in college, i lusted after srini's roommate dwight van winkle. he walked around all the time without a shirt on, an early matthew mcconaughey. all i can say to that is, major fucking duh. the one who got away.
bob binney arrived on the scene, what with his amazing ability to mock my 70s obsession and make me laugh like no other. poor dan leary didn't stand a chance, but was nonetheless pretty perfect for me. 15 years later at the newspaper reunion? i couldn't even talk to bob. i hid from him the whole time. dan was probably at home that night with his wife and three beautiful children. i went home alone.
at 96rock, i was dazzled by adam. knowing i wasn't his type and that our kids would have less than no ass didn't stop me from ignoring andy martin and that cute boy who took me to cirque de soleil.
this phenomenon can even be found in the professional sports world. brantt mhyres could barely skate down the ice, but sure looked good buying frozen yogurt in his expensive suit, while kurt harvey toiled in the dressing room. well to be fair i lusted after kurt too. in this case the brian was an unavailable jordan too -- he was married to his job.
then there was kenny. charming, gorgeous, dangerous kenny. i couldn't even name the brian krakow in that situation, i didn't even notice who he might've been.
in texas, first there was dusty, and then craig. more jordans. so is there a brian in my current scenario? is it patrick todd? or someone else i can't even see?
this dysfunction can be traced back to my taste in music, too. my first musical love? paul mccartney. of course, george or john never would've married a one-legged golddigger half their age. next? sting -- conceited and unfaithful, when obviously stewart copeland was wry, witty, and just plain adorable.
it's like in the movie while you were sleeping. sandra bullock's character thinks she's in love with the handsome lawyer peter, but really it's earthy, dependable, less showy but ultimately far more attractive jack who is perfect for her.
don't get me wrong. the jordans in my life were very smart, funny, talented, and in most cases, interested in me as friends, at least. (damn you bynum!!) but they weren't romantic relationship material. and they clouded my vision. i'm ready for my brian. and i don't want him to get away while i'm distracted by yet another jordan.
1 comment:
This was so beautiful I cried. But how many times were we taught by movies and TV that it worked out with the Jordan? Luke and Laura. And one of our favorite movies "A Room With A View." It's a constant theme. And look at Scarlett O'Hara. By pining after boring old Ashley, she lost dashing Rhett. That's an odd reversal on the theme, but the lesson was the same. So I blame the media.
RE: the one who got away. I'm not entirely certain you are 100% to blame there. I think you are his "one who got away." Don't assume control and therefore blame that isn't yours. There's enough in the world to feel bad about without blaming yourself for things outside your control.
Let's hope certain people don't read your blog.
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