and you wonder why i'm single?*

in the last two weeks, two men from my small town have made the national and international news.

paul slough, a testosterone-poisoned gun-crazy bloodthirsty fuckwit ex-marine was indicted for "manslaughter" as part of the blackwater 5, who murdered 17 iraqis on a baghdad street.

brian smith, a testosterone-poisoned gun-crazy bloodthirsty fuckwit ex-state trooper killed himself after a crime spree which ended with him murdering at least 2 people randomly on dallas highways.

you need no longer worry that i'm not "dating" much.

i need to get out of this state.



*or, maybe it's obvious!

merry merry

meme to the academy

cody's shuffleathon sender sunset over slawit has a huge meme (stolen from samurai frog) posted on his blog. basically, you bold all the things on the list that you've done in your life. (what can i say, it's a slow day at work.)

1. Started my own blog - and here we are!

2. Slept under the stars - girl scout

3. Played in a band - for one horrible glorious song, we tried out for the talent show in college. a split enz song. naturally, i played bass. didn't make it. shocker.

4. Visited Hawaii -- ahhhhhh. so very lovely.

5. Watched a meteor shower - go leonid!

6. Given more than I can afford to charity - $1 is more than i can afford at this point.

7. Been to Disneyland/World -- both! world in 5th grade and land sometime later.

8. Climbed a mountain - does stone mountain count?

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sung a solo - ha!

11. Bungee jumped - not. gonna. happen.

12. Visited Paris - bah.

13. Watched lightning at sea - maybe?

14. Taught myself an art from scratch - and what a great painter i am.

15. Adopted a child - wait, do dogs count?

16. Had food poisoning - a black bean burrito at that place in vinings. retch.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty - i am tired and poor

18. Grown my own vegetables - squash -- and they were awesome!

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France - bah

20. Slept on an overnight train - survived an indian train trip, does that count?

21. Had a pillow fight - but of course

22. Hitchhiked - are you kidding me?

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill - i prefer to call it a mental health day

24. Built a snow fort - glorious michigan childhood

25. Held a lamb -- petting only

26. Gone skinny dipping - i can't even remember his name.

27. Run a Marathon - are you kidding?

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - walked in venice, california

29. Seen a total eclipse - and my brother pretended to be blinded by it. i'm not bitter.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run - i was always lucky to connect and get to first base without getting thrown out

32. Been on a cruise - two. the first one, a greek cruise ship, later sunk and was featured in people magazine because the crew didn't stick around to help the passengers. the second was with delbert mcclinton to the bahamas.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person - only on wonderfalls!

34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community - snicker -- intercourse, pa! - snicker

36. Taught myself a new language - icelandic isn't easy, folks.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied - flirted with it once. you suck, tbs.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person - i'm more of an amalfi coast kinda girl.

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David

41. Sung karaoke - raise your hands if you want your ears to bleed

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt - i've seen the ORIGINAL geysir erupt!

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant 

44. Visited Africa - i'd like to

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance - well i wasn't the patient, amy k was.

47. Had my portrait painted - it wasn't paint, it was pencil.

48. Gone deep sea fishing - for the halibut!

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person - not even on my top 10 list

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris - bah.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling - great barrier reef, baby.

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater - first time was peter pan. and then something else more contemporary that i can't remember

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China - not actually on my top 20 list

57. Started a business - i freelanced, does that count?

58. Taken a martial arts class - always wanted to

59. Visited Russia - finally! something i really want to do! sergei are you with me?

60. Served at a soup kitchen - in atlanta

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - of course! ate some, too!

62. Gone whale watching - minke whale, 11 o'clock!

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma - does bone marrow donor registration count?

65. Gone sky diving - are you kidding me?

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - i'm pretty sure that would be too disturbing

67. Bounced a check - the bank bounced a few for me when i closed my account

68. Flown in a helicopter - fantastic!

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy - saved most of them!

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial - go abe

71. Eaten Caviar - i prefer to duck rather than swallow

72. Pieced a quilt - i'm a knitter, not a quilter

73. Stood in Times Square - in 97 when the wings won the cup

74. Toured the Everglades - i'm not big on florida

75. Been fired from a job - thanks randy! karma didn't bite you in the ass or anything, did it?

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London - it's like you have to do it.

77. Broken a bone - a foot bone and a hand bone!

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - thanks dennis

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person - close, but no cigar

80. Published a book - not YET!

81. Visited the Vatican - bah!

82. Bought a brand new car - bought two

83. Walked in Jerusalem - not on the list either.

84. Had my picture in the newspaper - on two continents! in germany (with my exchange students) and in atlanta (with eric bogosian). oh and i was in sports illustrated, too! but that's a magazine

85. Read the entire Bible - old testament only

86. Visited the White House - can't remember who was in office at the time - reagan maybe?

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating - are you kidding?

88. Had chickenpox - i don't remember

89. Saved someone’s life - only emotionally

90. Sat on a jury - never even called!

91. Met someone famous - met 500+ famous someones. god my life used to be so glamorous.

92. Joined a book club - hi becky!

93. Lost a loved one 

94. Had a baby - not yet!

95. Seen the Alamo in person - you know my thoughts on texas

96. Swum in the Great Salt Lake - after we move to utah!

97. Been involved in a law suit - only class action suits

98. Owned a cell phone - owned 5 or 6

99. Been stung by a bee - and a damn wasp. ouch!

100. Ridden an elephant - twice! in michigan AND in india!

51/100